ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
