high people should be assigned attendants
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Panties = found
Randomize
