This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
