Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
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