Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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