so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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