ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
