Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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