is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
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I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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