let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
