i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
