you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize