There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
