It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
