this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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