This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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