i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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