He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
