Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
