wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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