Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Come see our sink grown plant.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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