Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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