So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
