There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
