apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
