the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize