Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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