at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You may now shotgun with the bride
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
