its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
