you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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