You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize