you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Someone signed my nipple.
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