pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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