he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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