her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
