I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
