We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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