ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
