did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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