just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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