I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
