dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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