The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
