my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
