it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
