Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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