oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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