do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize