I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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