big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
