He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
