yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize