that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
