Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
