If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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