remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
