I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
