I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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