I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
