GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
