I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
