Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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