I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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