Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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