just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
