And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
